When Lawyers Like Each Other

In practicing law, it is possible for lawyers to "lose their cool" and get adversarial, oppositional, and downright nasty with each other. And, I would go so far as to say that there is a greater chance of seeing this behaviour amongst family law lawyers, than in many other areas of the law. What is the reason for this? I believe that family law clients, who are usually in some level of pain and upset because of what they believe their loved one has done to them, project their emotions onto their lawyers. The lawyers then "take on" the clients' emotions. Often, as lawyers, we feel it is our job to vindicate our clients and to "fix" things for our clients. Some degree of taking on your client's feelings is inevitable, even for the most skilled lawyer, but the lawyer should never lose perspective about the legal aspects of the case and their role in the case.

To deal with some of the inevitable positioning that lawyers do, I would suggest to clients that they choose lawyers who are reasonably comfortable in working with each other. When lawyers dislike each other, feel that they cannot get their point across to the other, and feel suspicious of the other's motives, there is a greater chance that the process will be long and protracted. Ultimately, this leads to higher cost to the client. The lawyer will likely not admit or even be aware that they are adding to the problem instead of the solution by "upping the ante" with the other side.

On the other hand, some of the most seamless, efficient and inexpensive cases I have negotiated have been with lawyers who I knew to some degree. There is a comfort level with working with another lawyer who you know. The inherent suspicion that a lawyer may have for the lawyer on the other side isn't there. (This does not mean that I have not had great experiences working with lawyers who I did not know before, but there is some time spent becoming familiar with that other lawyer and how they operate.)

I do realize that in many cases, clients do not coordinate with each other before choosing their lawyers. However, there are cases where one client obtains representation before the other. In such a case, it would be wise for the first client to ask their lawyer who they can refer their spouse to. Most lawyers would be delighted to provide names of colleagues who they enjoy working with or who they'd like to work with.

Some clients may not want their lawyers to be friendly to each other. They feel that they would be better protected by a lawyer who disliked the other side as much as they did. However, nothing could be further from the truth. Just because two lawyers are friendly towards each other does not mean that they will not take their job seriously and seek the best solution for their respective clients. I find that in working with colleagues that I know, there is a greater ability to take things less personally, greater sympathy for each other's clients and a willingness to work harder to meet both clients' objectives. And...this translates to lower legal fees and less frustration for the clients.